Lunch...

My munchies got the better of me..

Had a 30g packet of chips... So that will count as lunch - 160calories

On 371 calories so far today :)

I want to stay under 500 today, but I'm going out tonight so I'll probably drink the calories...

What's everyone doing tonight ? :) x

Gym

Burned 681 calories :)

I've said it before and I'll say it again I LOVE RUNNING <3

I'm actually pretty shocked that I can run what with my lovely box-a-day habit :/

(no subject)

Ate some grapes.. 11 calories left.. What the hell am I gonna do with 11 calories?
I'm desperate to find something I can eat that's 11 calories because I'm so scared I lose control and binge later on :(

Off to gym now lovies!

xxx Sam

Again!

I ate 411 calories for lunch :(.... The fuuuuck is going on with me today?

Altogether I'm on 861 calories today.. So I have 39 calories left to last me the next 10 hours that I'm awake. I don't want to eat fruit because of the high sugar content, but I really, really don't want to binge later! Any suggestions?

I want to work my fat ass to pieces at gym today! BUT... My friend's coming over in an hour to drop off some weed that I gave him money for yesterday.. Argh, I haven't smoked in so long, I know as soon as I get it I'll smoke a bong, then get the munchies, then be too lazy to go to gym.

NO... I will go to gym, even if I'm stoned and half asleep. I will crawl on the effing treadmill if I have to.

Wish me luck, today is not going well at all for me.. Hope everything's sunny on your side ladies!

xxx Sam

Cheers to goodbyemrblue


Hey girls,
How you all doing? I've been having a good couple of days. I realised I cannot live on 300cals because I just can't concentrate in class or do my homework, and I'm in year 12 and I really want to get into Law. So I decided to eat 800cals, it's working good because I haven't been binging and it gives me enough energy to finish all my work. :)
Okay, so here's what I eat today :)

9:30 - Breakfast
- yogurt + 250mls water 66CALS

11:00 - Recess
- apple + small piece of boiled fish 250mls water 180CALS

4:00 - Lunch
- lean chicken and salad sandwich 350CALS

+ 200CALS OF JILAPEES (I shouldn't have but, it gave me a sugar high.) 

 

TOTAL - 796CALS (Just scraped through :)

2hrs run/walk - anyone know how many cals that burned
I
I don't really feel guilty but the sugar high, because I burnt it off with running which I hate because it's so bad for you're knee.
Anyway, I have a Modern History speech on Russia tomorrow and it's like worth 20% of my school exam marks so wish me luck.

hope you're all doing well :)
cheers to goodbyemrblue for posting like ten times? :) haha.. and your comment on "catering to all countries(something like that)" i don't know why but it made my day :) thank you.
stay strong girls :)

xox Clara


Ahem.. Me Again :D

I don't know if it's the different time zones or if I'm just on here a lot, it looks like I'm post whoring but I haven't posted in 10 hours ha!

Anyway...

Breakfast: 450 calories
Great, just great. Half my daily calories in one meal. Wonderful, Sam.

Burned 123 calories walking for 20 minutes.

Argh! I'm so mad at myself for breakfast.. WHO THE HELL EATS 450 CALORIES FOR BREAKFAST?!

Disgusting pig I am.

Hope you beauties are having/will have/have had a great day/night (I cater to all time-zones)

xxx Sam

Friends...

My first friend who I spoke a lot about dieting with was when I was 14. We were always trying diets and going to gym, but obviously it turned into competition. It became all we spoke about. We'd go out and she'd get a vodka and coke, and I'd one-up her by getting a straight vodka and glass of water. Things like that. We both developed EDs during that time. Eventually the strain of always competing broke our friendship. Neither of us admitted it was the reason, but I knew it and I'm sure she did too.

Now, I'm doing the same with my current best friend.

We usually go to gym together, but for the past two weeks she's been lacking - she hasn't come once. I'm not gonna lie - it makes me smile to think that I'll lose weight quicker than her. We went out for dinner the other night, and over her huge plate of full-fat chicken pasta with cheese she told me she's afraid that she's obsessing over her weight too much, that it's all she thinks about.

I was like bitch please, I'm sitting here with a salad and water (one-upped again hah) and I go to gym for an hour and a half every day no matter what and you sit there telling me that  you're the one obsessed with your weight?

I love her so, so much but I can't help having all these ugly thoughts about her. I hope she gets fat. I'm not gonna see her for 2 weeks and I want her to get back and see me and actually think I'm sick because I'm so skinny. I want her to be so jealous she cries.

I hate myself for thinking this way about her, but I just can't stop these thoughts :(

(Sorry about randomly bolded words - I thought I'd add a bit of emphasis here and there)

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I decided to start at the bottom and work my self up with one solid rule at a time.

Most important rule: Don't let any food touch your lips during daylight.

So I either wait all day to get home and eat (by that time ive been hungry all day and lost some weight) or get up super early in the morning to eat

it's working a very well. It clicks, you know, in my brain. It fits me like a perfectly worn pair of jeans.